panda note

I feel like a coward. I only make things at night when no one is around. I don't understand why I care. I miss last year. I miss the people I used to love. I miss old friends. I miss being creative. I miss getting my hands dirty. I miss making things for people. No one appreciates things anymore. I want my freedom back. I feel like I've been saying all the wrong things at all the wrong times. I feel like my girlfriend deserves someone better. No one seems happy anymore. I want to take care of myself but there never seems to be anytime. I started writing again. I wrote two scripts this week. I hate going out. I miss late night walks on pico. I hate that not all ideas seem possible anymore, leaving you depressed with the emptiness of passion.

and expectations become a horrible burden.